The following were answers provided by Year 6's during a history test.
(honestly!)
"Ancient Egypt was inhabited my mummies and they all wrote
in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Desert. The climate of the
Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere."
"Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made
unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before
he ever reached Canada."
"Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines."
"The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them
we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth."
"Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving
people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of
wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline."
"In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits,
and threw the java."
"Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of
Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going
to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
"Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonised by Bernard
Shaw."
"Queen Elizabeth was the Virgin Queen. As a queen she was a
success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
"hurrah".
"It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention
was the circulation of blood. Sit Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake
circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper."
"The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare.
He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never
made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote
tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish
was to be laid by Juliet."
